Filipinos, as most Southeast Asians are, they do not throw their elderly into homes for the aged, either. Their parents stay with them until death.
Now, I reside in Cambodia, and have for going on 7 years. The previously listed reason is one of several, as to why I have lived in SEA, full time, for the past two decades. I have no intentions of living anywhere else, ever.
You can see with only one eye open, but you’ll probably run into things and stub your toe. The big picture matters.
The holy trinity of wholesomeness: Fred Rogers – be kind to others; Steve Irwin – be kind to animals; Bob Ross – be kind to yourself
This is kind of bittersweet, Dale talking about “game”. Probably like many, I had a rough adolescence. So I worked to develop my “game”.
The only areas this breaks down are areas where women are basically using the government to take the place of the husband as a provider, then they are focusing more on sexy, cool, etc
There were some bright spots (for Dale); back when we still wrote checks, I was out of state at college and there was a super beautiful checkout clerk taking my check. She said “I’m going to need a local number” and I came back immediately with “I was just going to say the same thing!” It worked, numberwise anyway. This was my game, I looked like a dumb jock but had a quick wit. It was a gimmick.
After a decade of very superficial relationships, I got totally smitten, and I had nothing but “game”. I will spare the details but it was not that different from Dale’s schtick. She went for the game but it took two years of my failing to learn that she liked the image, but she (and I) needed much more than that. I won the wrong prize. It took a total overhaul of our relationship over several years to recover. Women consume culture that every day should be novel and romantic (and focused on them), and men are told women are just suppressed horny beasts who long to wash our socks (and focused on us). The reality is that unless both partners trade their prior selves for the interests of the other, any prior self that is maintained is not a gift from the other dating een Filipijnse man half- but a source of frustration/contention. And that is a big “ask”.
What is funny is that the longer “leash” I have gotten, the fewer times I am that interested in using it!
I am very grateful she invested in the relationship, and I am afraid there is so much conditioning on both sides at this point I worry for my kids
When I got married I got a real education about the female mind. While I was focused on finding someone beautiful, sexy, loyal,funny, smart, and hard working in roughly that order and being all cool and suave (or so I thought) my wife was looking for someone with whom she could raise a family. She was looking for someone who could make a living (could provide), reliable (would provide), someone who would be a good father for her future children, and then came funny, smart, sexy, and all the other cool stuff in roughly that order.
I’ve read that world wide when they examine men and women, their focuses are roughly what my wife and I had.
The most important thing to realize is that you are marrying a partner, someone who will have your back, always. Sex is great, but it’s a wonderful thing to go to sleep at night next to someone you trust and love, and who trusts and loves you back.