“The most interesting aspects of their day may relate to their new flirtation…This can be more devastating than sexual infidelity as it implies the intimacy of day-to-day life is now being shared with someone new.”
While she doesn’t want to be with you, she also doesn’t want to hurt you and so that comes out all wrong and leaves the two of you feeling even further apart.
12. She’ll change the story.
When she finally comes clean, she’ll have the most absurd reasons for why she was cheating on you. Know that these reasons are the stories she needs to tell herself to justify her behavior.
She’ll say things that others can’t deny are good reasons to leave someone and regardless of how good a partner you once were, she’ll have you looking like a horrible spouse. It’s not about you. It’s about her guilt.
Even if you are just hanging out, she seems cranky or nervous. She might be having major feelings of guilt about her actions and she will project those feelings onto and try to make you feel bad for the way you are.
According to Lillian Glass, Ph.D. in Oprah Magazine, you can tell if your partner is hiding something if “they are rocking back and forth” when they are chatting with you.
14. She gets angry when you ask questions
If you have gotten to the point of frustration and feel like you need to talk to her about what is going on, she’ll be angry when you start asking questions if she is cheating on you.
Caleb Backe, Health and Wellness Expert for Maple Holistics, tells Bustle, that unexplained mood swings could be a sign of cheating.
Or, if she is even thinking about it, she’ll lash out at you and somehow make it your fault that you would even ask those questions.
“Cheaters tend to rationalize their behavior (in their own minds). One way they do this is to push the blame onto you.
“Often, their internal justifications for cheating leak out, and they behave judgmentally toward you and your relationship. If it suddenly seems like nothing you do is right, or that things that used to not bother your partner suddenly do, or as if you’re getting pushed away, that could be a strong indication of cheating.”
People who are lying and trying to hide the truth will go to great lengths to keep themselves and their integrity safe. It’s not personal. It’s about their inability to face the truth.
15. There’s no intimacy
Keep in mind that couples grow through dry spells, but if she is not even showing interest in you and nothing has really happened to cause the distance between you, cheating might be a reason why this has happened.
On the flip side, it could also turn the other way round where they are paying you more attention in bed, according to Paul Coleman, PsyD, in Prevention:
“Guilt-ridden people may increase lovemaking at home…Some will do so to cover their tracks. But some may do so to satisfy a partner so that the partner will not be seeking sex at a later time when the cheater knows he or she won’t be available.”
So if she is really cheating, what should you do?
It’s common for people to blame themselves when they’ve been cheated on. “Wasn’t I enough?” “Did I provide enough fun? Excitement? Emotional support?”
But you don’t need to ask yourself these questions. Questions like this will make you feel like sh*t because you’ll never get an accurate answer.